I am exceptionally depressed today. When I most especially want to be happy, there seems to be so much going wrong. I've sat on tenterhooks for months unend, not knowing what the next moment brings. Indeed, it feels I'm holding onto a thin rope, struggling to stay, not to lose grip, to stay focused when everyone else seems to be floating ,indeed to be flying.
Many sleepless nights, nights rife with tossing and turning, provoked by the thoughts running through my subconsciousness...I am afraid, I am hoping, wishing and praying. I want my dreams to come trueso bad. Insanity seems to beckon, almost within arms-reach, I can feel it's icy ambience- the claws of intant death. I refuse it with all my strength. Strength that seems to ebb each passing day. The rope seems to snap loose, a few cords ..a few cords at a time. Then it grows thinner...the burden not lighter yet. Heavier it grows by the minute.
I've had my fair share of good and bad. It seems the bad abounds on.On and on to deepen my sorrow. "Wake up and smell the cofee!"- it reverberates in my ears, resonates with my marrow, to make me understand, and feel the meaning of "life is not fair".
I am surrounded by joy. laughter fills the air, but only I know pain, pain and more pain. Have i been robbed by my own actions? Have I a debt so huge to settle? Is this my sentence? This pain I feel?
Many sleepless nights, nights rife with tossing and turning, provoked by the thoughts running through my subconsciousness...I am afraid, I am hoping, wishing and praying. I want my dreams to come trueso bad. Insanity seems to beckon, almost within arms-reach, I can feel it's icy ambience- the claws of intant death. I refuse it with all my strength. Strength that seems to ebb each passing day. The rope seems to snap loose, a few cords ..a few cords at a time. Then it grows thinner...the burden not lighter yet. Heavier it grows by the minute.
I've had my fair share of good and bad. It seems the bad abounds on.On and on to deepen my sorrow. "Wake up and smell the cofee!"- it reverberates in my ears, resonates with my marrow, to make me understand, and feel the meaning of "life is not fair".
I am surrounded by joy. laughter fills the air, but only I know pain, pain and more pain. Have i been robbed by my own actions? Have I a debt so huge to settle? Is this my sentence? This pain I feel?
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