A letter from my heart...to my husband-to-be
I've been struggling debating whether or not to write this 'cuz i really dnt know how u'll take it. Lately, u seem to misinterpret my good intentions.
Its been nearly 2 years 7 months. Sometimes i'm happy, other times i'm upset. God's been good to us, seen us through the good and the bad. I try hard to be the best girlfriend. I cant help but feel that sometimes u think i'm petty, selfish. U tell me i have my rules...and they only apply to u.
We grew up differently i know, but we get into relationships to help each other become betta ppl...i have my faults..plently i know. Sometimes u make me feel horrible for trying to make u a beta man.
Last nite, as Deacon "praised" us, i wondered to myself..."I know he tells me he loves me,...but does he really?" I dont really doubt that u do, but sometimes u do make me wonder. (and pls dnt make me feel guilty or regret writing this now cuz ...ii have tears streaming down as i write it, not that i want to...its uncomfortable to breathe). It's been on my heart a while and I can't let it keep staying there ,cuz it burdens me..(crying is just a way to relieve my stress).
We've both improved a bit since we've been dating. Sometimes, however, i look back to when you told amd asked me "I want you to be my best friend foreva, will u?", that 25th April 2008." I made one little request of you..."please lose the "pot belly"- and u promised to go jogging and do whatever...but then u asked what i'd do if it didnt go and i replied "i can't leave just bcuz it doesn't go".
Honestly, I just feel "betrayed " in a way bcuz its almost like u dont care, you couldnt be bothered that it's important to me. 2 yrs 7 months, not too long i know, but i've been waiting for u to make an effort.
I thought u did try when u bought the bike...but its like a white elephant...You dont jog or show me ur making an effort as u promised me....and though i may not show it outwardly, ..that makes me hurt.
Everyone wants to be happy with the person they marry. Woman have different things that make them happy, and man probably same. i won't know wat u want if u decide to keep it to urself, but i try to tell u everything on my mind, so we can work out my happiness...i dnt know about u. U've neva complained of my physical appearance (and i dnt know whether or not u have concerns) but i prefer to tell u the things i'd like u to work on so they dnt burden my heart. I get sick (literally) when i keep things inside for long. And to know you'r not trying...it makes me sad.
Thank you for working hard to take care of me. Yes, i really appreciate u taking care of me,but there r things in life that are as important to me as our comfort. I want to see MY man physically and be be happy, be attracted to him (pls dont take this wrongly, throughout this note, i've tried really really hard to choose my words carefully so i dnt hurt or upset u,its the last thing i want).
I feel you dnt care how i feel sometimes when u KEEP not trying or make excuses about being tired from work...same excuse for not making the effort to keep the room tidy and organised as u go along the day.
Please dont make me feel bad for writing this to my man, I'ts been hard to do cuz i dnt want to hurt ur emotions, but my heart.... U r a good man, and i'm blessed! But i want to be happier....i'm asking for the little things...the small small things that r easy to ignore.
So i beg of u and ask u not to be hurt that i write this to u. I tried to choose my words carefully, but pls forgive me if i said something to bruise ur ego or "insulting". Thank you fro reading this. God bless u.
Have a blessed day.
Its been nearly 2 years 7 months. Sometimes i'm happy, other times i'm upset. God's been good to us, seen us through the good and the bad. I try hard to be the best girlfriend. I cant help but feel that sometimes u think i'm petty, selfish. U tell me i have my rules...and they only apply to u.
We grew up differently i know, but we get into relationships to help each other become betta ppl...i have my faults..plently i know. Sometimes u make me feel horrible for trying to make u a beta man.
Last nite, as Deacon "praised" us, i wondered to myself..."I know he tells me he loves me,...but does he really?" I dont really doubt that u do, but sometimes u do make me wonder. (and pls dnt make me feel guilty or regret writing this now cuz ...ii have tears streaming down as i write it, not that i want to...its uncomfortable to breathe). It's been on my heart a while and I can't let it keep staying there ,cuz it burdens me..(crying is just a way to relieve my stress).
We've both improved a bit since we've been dating. Sometimes, however, i look back to when you told amd asked me "I want you to be my best friend foreva, will u?", that 25th April 2008." I made one little request of you..."please lose the "pot belly"- and u promised to go jogging and do whatever...but then u asked what i'd do if it didnt go and i replied "i can't leave just bcuz it doesn't go".
Honestly, I just feel "betrayed " in a way bcuz its almost like u dont care, you couldnt be bothered that it's important to me. 2 yrs 7 months, not too long i know, but i've been waiting for u to make an effort.
I thought u did try when u bought the bike...but its like a white elephant...You dont jog or show me ur making an effort as u promised me....and though i may not show it outwardly, ..that makes me hurt.
Everyone wants to be happy with the person they marry. Woman have different things that make them happy, and man probably same. i won't know wat u want if u decide to keep it to urself, but i try to tell u everything on my mind, so we can work out my happiness...i dnt know about u. U've neva complained of my physical appearance (and i dnt know whether or not u have concerns) but i prefer to tell u the things i'd like u to work on so they dnt burden my heart. I get sick (literally) when i keep things inside for long. And to know you'r not trying...it makes me sad.
Thank you for working hard to take care of me. Yes, i really appreciate u taking care of me,but there r things in life that are as important to me as our comfort. I want to see MY man physically and be be happy, be attracted to him (pls dont take this wrongly, throughout this note, i've tried really really hard to choose my words carefully so i dnt hurt or upset u,its the last thing i want).
I feel you dnt care how i feel sometimes when u KEEP not trying or make excuses about being tired from work...same excuse for not making the effort to keep the room tidy and organised as u go along the day.
Please dont make me feel bad for writing this to my man, I'ts been hard to do cuz i dnt want to hurt ur emotions, but my heart.... U r a good man, and i'm blessed! But i want to be happier....i'm asking for the little things...the small small things that r easy to ignore.
So i beg of u and ask u not to be hurt that i write this to u. I tried to choose my words carefully, but pls forgive me if i said something to bruise ur ego or "insulting". Thank you fro reading this. God bless u.
Have a blessed day.
really insightful posts!
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