ANTI-CLIMAX!!!

So i was super excited about going on leave like 5days ago...last monday to be precise. I was really looking forward to my 18 working-days leave and then some(after four long months of non-stop 7days a week job) and i was looking forward even more to our 1 year wedding anniversary on March 19th. It seemed everything was going to plan until that faithful morning....Yes the morning of my last Emergency duty shift before leave started.

 Its about 5:10 am,Wednesday Feb 29th, and hubby gets a call. His kid sister is on the line...she's frantic about their dad not being well. He tries to calm her and picks up his car keys, informing me he's heading home to see his dad. I try to go back to sleep thinking..."i hope she's not exaggerating..it's a bit early for that", but i'm also thinking..."I hope He is well".

Approximately 5:15 am, my phone's ringing. Hubby "Babe, can u go with me, my dad is said to be unresponsive". I bolt out of bed immediately, thankful i went to bed in a maxi dress, my hair looks hideous as i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. For a moment, i'm confused, don't know where my slippers are at, where my stethoscope's at...I grab my white coat...pass my hand through my hair and dash downstairs.

The journey to get his dad was a formula 1 race experience for me...we eventually caught up with the car that had conveyed his dad to a private clinic ...as usual, there was no doctor on the premises. I did the best i could to stabilise my father-in-law, who at this point is deeply unconscious and having a mild seizure. Then it was another formula 1 experience back to Korlebu Teaching Hospital, amidst pouring rain..and traffic.We almost did a full spin once and nearly crashed into a wall.

Six-thirty am: We arrive at the emergency unit, where my shift will be starting at 8am that morning. The doctors on duty see him and we get a CT scan done. My father in law has a stroke which was secondary to a heart condition, atrial fibrillation to be exact. He had thrown a clot from the heart into the brainstem...the prognosis did not look good. It was really devastating watching my husband almost break down! We did our very best, but my father-in-law passed away 8:30pm, Thursday March 1st, 2012, leaving us all broken.

(Papa getting his drink on)

Its been a difficult 3 days since. Its been sad seeing my husband who looks so well composed and almost unshakeable break down every so often and cry when he talks about how his dad, despite his faults would chat with he and his 3 siblings, how he thought him some aspects of his trade as a dentist, how he insited on a simple and short funeral if and when he passed away, how he was proud that all his kids had graduated from university and were making him proud, how he's say "i don't want any tributes at my funeral...you guys are my tributes!"

These moments sadden me and make me want to cry too. I try to be strong for my hubby, so he'd be strong for his mum and siblings. These moments, however, make me realise what i'v been missing in my own home. While i wouldnt want to wash my dirty linen in public, it hurts me to know that my family unit is not half as happy as the Glover family was while Papa as they called him was alive; that my dad hardly talks and laugh with us,that my parents seem to be distant towards each other...that the few times we've sat together as a family over dinner, it felt really odd, almost uncomfortable...i could go on an on...but i won't. I am resolved to make my marriage work; to have a happy bubbly family no matter what it takes..to help my husband be the best husband and dad he can ever be...to put smiles on the faces of the children God blesses us with..and above all...to lead my family to Christ...and to stay in him.

For now, i take delights in these words: "Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28