Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

The Thin Rope!

I am exceptionally depressed today. When I most especially want to be happy, there seems to be so much going wrong. I've sat on tenterhooks for months unend, not knowing what the next moment brings. Indeed, it feels  I'm holding onto a thin rope, struggling to stay, not to lose grip, to stay focused when everyone else seems to be floating ,indeed to be flying.

Many sleepless nights, nights rife with tossing and turning, provoked by the thoughts running through my subconsciousness...I am afraid, I am hoping, wishing and praying. I want my dreams to come trueso bad. Insanity seems to beckon, almost within arms-reach, I can feel it's icy ambience- the claws of intant death. I refuse it with all my strength. Strength that seems to ebb each passing day. The rope seems to snap loose, a few cords ..a few cords at a time. Then it grows thinner...the burden not lighter yet. Heavier it grows by the minute.

I've had my fair share of good and bad.  It seems the bad abounds on.On and on to deepen my sorrow. "Wake up and smell the cofee!"- it reverberates in my ears, resonates with my marrow, to make me understand, and feel the meaning of "life is not fair".

I am surrounded by joy. laughter fills the air, but only I know pain, pain and more pain. Have i been robbed by my own actions? Have I a debt so huge to settle? Is this my sentence? This pain I feel?



Thursday, 15 March 2012

twisted testicles...a bubble to my gloomy day!

other things amanzi: twisted testicles:(Made my day! couldn't help but share - a South African Surgeon's blog)


 testicular torsion, to put it mildly, is a terrible condition. the testis twists around on its axis, cutting off its own blood supply. over and above the excruciating pain, if it is not operated within about six hours of it happening, well then you can pretty much kiss that testis goodbye. and to make things worse, it strikes young boys who have just entered puberty while they are awkward and unsure of themselves. it is seldom that they ask for help until long after it is all to late. at least that makes the operation easy... you simply cut out the necrotic testis, easy as pie. but at the operation, it is always important to remember that if the one testis has twisted, the other one tends to follow suit in due course, so, while chopping out the twisted testis, it is absolutely imperative that you suture the other testis to the scrotum so that it can't twist. of course if you omit this step, in all probability, in a few years time, the poor awkward teen is going to loose his second testis and this is really going to mess with his mojo, pretty much for the rest of his life.

but testicular torsion is not something that i deal with all that much. you see the condition falls into the realm of the urologists and if these humble creatures are to be found in your local hospital, then torsions go their way. however, even mighty urologists need to take time off. then us humble general surgeons step up and cut out on their behalf. recently i was put in this position and handled a testis torsion. but it reminded me of another one i dealt with a few years ago.

the patient, an eighteen year old young man, turned up at casualties about 20 minutes after developing excruciating pain in his right testicle. on examination it was clearly a torsion. but what i noticed immediately was the missing left testicle. i asked him about it.

as it turns out the patient had had a similar problem with the left testicle about a year previously. then, as was typical of young men of his age, he had waited a full day before he worked up the courage to go to hospital to seek help. of course the left testicle was already necrotic and had to be removed. the urologist tending to him at the time had done the right thing to the right testicle and fixed it to the scrotum so that it would not twist like its troublesome left counterpart. but still here i was faced with a patient with only one testicle and that one was twisted and in real danger of moving on to the hereafter (testicle heaven). also the urologist had previously operated the patient and, despite that, his remaining jewel was in danger. now that all the urologists were gone or on leave or dead or whatever, what chance did that poor nut have in my mere general surgeon hands? yet i felt the necessary urgency of the moment. one testicle is bad enough, but none??? unthinkable!!! i booked him for theater and demanded immediate theater time (something somewhat more scarce and valuable than fine gold in south africa).

surprisingly, soon i found myself (and the endangered testis) in theater. i opened the scrotum. the testis was twisted as i knew it would be, but, luckily, it was still viable. what was interesting was that the stitch that the urologist had placed a year or so earlier was still there. the testis had managed to rotate around the axis created between the stitch and its blood supply. this was clearly a testis hell bent of causing havoc and depriving its owner of full manhood. i was not about to let it do that.

i twisted the testicle back to its natural position, but somehow i needed to keep it there. one standard stitch by a urologist clearly had not been sufficient. luckily i was not a urologist. i would not be shown up by some young, single, upstart testicle, especially when my patient's very manhood rested on my actions. i fixed it and i fixed it good.

i replaced the urological stitch, then i placed four more stitches at the four points of the compass. i felt pretty sure that nothing would convince that testis to twist again. yet i still wasn't willing to take the chance of this young lad having to face life without all the questionable advantages of testosterone, so i felt compelled to do more. i used my cautery to burn multiple small scars into the surface of the testicle so that once i closed it in the scrotum, each little scar would attach to the scrotum, fixing it absolutely and permanently so that there would be and could be no question of any further gyrating and twisting. that testicle would do nothing without the scrotum knowing about it. i felt good. i had done my (or rather the urologist's) job and i had done it well. i had made a difference to a small testicle and his boy.

the next monday when the urologists had come streaming back from their no doubt deserved respite, they were quite eager to hear if i had handled anything for them. when i relayed the story of the stubbornly rotating testicle to the very one who had placed the first stitch a year or two previously, to no avail, apparently, i was not impressed when he questioned if i had sufficiently fixed the testis in place.

"are you sure that testicle won't rotate again?" he asked.

"no, i am not!" i replied, "but i can assure you if it tries to rotate again, it's going to take the whole patient with it, so look out for a guy walking down the streets doing a pirouette every so often and you'll know that's the guy i operated!"

Thursday, 24 November 2011

my heart Blog!!!

i have a blog in my heart..
and but one faithful follower.
I'd dare not share these posts with you...
you'll judge me much i know you will
what i need most, he provides!
a listening ear, he avails.
when the time is right he'll be my judge
until then..here's my heart blog...
to my faithful follower.

My heart is broken now you know..
another dropped it
and shattered to pieces it fell tonite!
My heart blog to you i cry!

Saturday, 12 November 2011

How it hurts...

There i was...
thinking what an amazing nite t'was goin to be...
after giving off most of my day and evening for an ungrateful patient..
coming back home to a tired husband who was being really sweet...
hey he shampooed my hair...
but just when i thought the nite had just started great...he says the wrong things...
and bruises ma heart bad.
why couldn't you just say the right things?









Sunday, 9 October 2011

My Billion dollar question

Seriously, how much worse is the pain of dysmenorrhoea compared to childbirth?

I am sitting here at 4:00am this Sunday morning( something i won't otherwise do unless i was up cramming for a paper)...and wondering why the heck i'm in sooo much pain?

Have just been thinking....

Do we women experience painful cyclical "bleeds" as part of Eve's curse in the garden of Eden...

Or is it solely a  "plus" in that its to prepare one for...if not nullify the pain of childbirth?

I am aware we all as individuals have varying thresholds to enduring pain...but I'd love if some experiences were shared....for truly...THIS is MY billion dollar question. A penny for your thoughts!



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