8 weeks MORE!!!! YAAAY!

IT's been a looooooooooooooong time coming.

I've been lazy and procrastinated long enough.

Everytime i set my mind to updating this blog, i find a million and one reasons to shy away.

It's been a long journey with mixed emotions ...but i find it will all be worth it in the ner 8 weeks.

I' posted sometime back about pain i was feeling...and yes i mentioned that someday i'd talk about it.

It's prolly time i did too.

You know the saying "Pain endures for a night ,...but joy comes in the morning?"...well that's me...that's my story.

I praise God for who He is and how He keeps His promises to His children. 

It's March 16th today, 2 and a half days to my wedding anniversary...it will be our 2ND!!!

2 years together..how time flies. It feels like only yesterday when we got married. 

Two weeks into our marriage i had a word from God assuring me that i'll hold my own baby in my arms...of course i never doubted my ability to bear children especially as i had never done anything to jeopardise those chances. He even went ahead to give me an idea which month to expect my baby. All this while the hubby and i weren't exactly planning to start a family soon...you know, we wanted to give ourselves a year to enjoy married-life and put a few things together..so yes i was on a method.

Six months into the method, however, i decided to let it go as i was most not enjoying the side effects that came with it. October 2011 to be precise...In December 2011, we were excited to discover we were expecting. At this point in my life the devil was attacking my family strongly. Work demands and stresses from home were mounting. Sadly we lost our precious little gem. Its was heart-breaking...we were nearly devastated but God's rhema kept me going.

We tried hard after that, God knows we did...each month passed unepected. that May 30th 2012, it happened again, but the joy was once again short-lived. This time, we waited 3 months to try again....and GOD hasn't stopped being faithful since!

We're 38 weeks preggers with our little prodigy! This lil one kicks like Messi...man he had come play some football! It's been months of nausea, vomiting, heart burns, carpal tunnel syndrome, sleepless nights ...and oh, my ICE pica...i totally crave ice! Combined with work...it gets really stressful. I just got back to work after a 3 weeks break but i can't wait for the next 2 months to go by quickly so i kiss those 5 toes and 5 fingers on each limb. I really can't wait to wake up in the middle of the night to feed my bundle of joy and make funny faces together.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...
 you make me happy ..when i am down..."

...What to WeaR!!!

Hmmm....Two of my good friends are getting married...yeeei...in SIX days! That's exciting news right? Of course it is...well at least till you're in my shoes!


My friends have been childhood sweethearts (since sunday school times mehn), so this wedding is a big deal and means a lot to them. I'm part of their day...handling protocol among other things. I feel really honored but also feel pressured to look my very best!! Pressured not by my friends, (no they would never do that), but by my own self. It's like my small wedding gift to them (corny i know ;-). )


Turquoise green and white...that's the colour theme! I drove round all day today looking for a dress, a fascinator, anything worth wearing! It didnt help that it's a holiday today (yesterday was Eid Ul something..not sure which one...given that i worked a 12 hour shift, have NO idea what went down- all i heard and saw from the windows of my ward as i did rounds where people on motor bikes tooting horns loudly as is done if Ghana won a football match or if some political party won elections!)...drove round in vain, eventually came home with foodstuff rather than a dress and accessories!

Thinking of this dress in turquoise-green(love the fring/ruffle work going on there) plus gold/glassbead accessories! and yellow high-heeled pumps! Whachya think?  Too traffic-lightISH?

The Thin Rope!

I am exceptionally depressed today. When I most especially want to be happy, there seems to be so much going wrong. I've sat on tenterhooks for months unend, not knowing what the next moment brings. Indeed, it feels  I'm holding onto a thin rope, struggling to stay, not to lose grip, to stay focused when everyone else seems to be floating ,indeed to be flying.

Many sleepless nights, nights rife with tossing and turning, provoked by the thoughts running through my subconsciousness...I am afraid, I am hoping, wishing and praying. I want my dreams to come trueso bad. Insanity seems to beckon, almost within arms-reach, I can feel it's icy ambience- the claws of intant death. I refuse it with all my strength. Strength that seems to ebb each passing day. The rope seems to snap loose, a few cords ..a few cords at a time. Then it grows thinner...the burden not lighter yet. Heavier it grows by the minute.

I've had my fair share of good and bad.  It seems the bad abounds on.On and on to deepen my sorrow. "Wake up and smell the cofee!"- it reverberates in my ears, resonates with my marrow, to make me understand, and feel the meaning of "life is not fair".

I am surrounded by joy. laughter fills the air, but only I know pain, pain and more pain. Have i been robbed by my own actions? Have I a debt so huge to settle? Is this my sentence? This pain I feel?



A letter from a Girlfriend...to her husband-to-be

A letter from my heart...to my husband-to-be

I've been struggling debating whether or not to write this 'cuz i really dnt know how u'll take it. Lately, u seem to misinterpret my good intentions.

Its been nearly 2 years 7 months. Sometimes i'm happy, other times i'm upset. God's been good to us, seen us through the good and the bad. I try hard to be the best girlfriend. I cant help but feel that sometimes u think i'm petty, selfish. U tell me i have my rules...and they only apply to u.

We grew up differently i know, but we get into relationships to help each other become betta ppl...i have my faults..plently i know. Sometimes u make me feel horrible for trying to make u a beta man.

Last nite, as Deacon  "praised" us, i wondered to myself..."I know he tells me he loves me,...but does he really?" I dont really doubt that u do, but sometimes u do make me wonder. (and pls dnt make me feel guilty or regret writing this now cuz ...ii have tears streaming down as i write it, not that i want to...its uncomfortable to breathe). It's been on my heart a while and I can't let it keep staying there ,cuz it burdens me..(crying is just a way to relieve my stress).

We've both improved a bit since we've been dating. Sometimes, however, i look back to when you told amd asked me "I want you to be my best friend foreva, will u?", that 25th April 2008." I made one little request of you..."please lose the "pot belly"- and u promised to go jogging and do whatever...but then u asked what i'd do if it didnt go and i replied "i can't leave just bcuz it doesn't go".

Honestly,  I just feel "betrayed " in a way bcuz its almost like u dont care, you couldnt be bothered that it's important to me. 2 yrs 7 months, not too long i know, but i've been waiting for u to make an effort.

I thought u did try when u bought the bike...but its like a white elephant...You dont jog or show me ur making an effort as u promised me....and though i may not show it outwardly, ..that makes me hurt.



Everyone wants to be happy with the person they marry. Woman have different things that make them happy, and man probably same. i won't know wat u want if u decide to keep it to urself, but i try to tell u everything on my mind, so we can work out my happiness...i dnt know about u. U've neva complained of my physical appearance (and i dnt know whether or not u have concerns) but i prefer to tell u the things i'd like u to work on so they dnt burden my heart. I get sick (literally) when i keep things inside for long. And to know you'r not trying...it makes me sad.

Thank you for working hard to take care of me. Yes, i really appreciate u taking care of me,but there r things in life that are as important to me as our comfort. I want to see MY man physically and be be happy, be attracted to him (pls dont take this wrongly, throughout this note, i've tried really really hard to choose my words carefully so i dnt hurt or upset u,its the last thing i want).

 I feel you dnt care how i feel sometimes when u KEEP not trying or make excuses about being tired from work...same excuse for not making the effort to keep the room tidy and organised as u go along the day.

Please dont make me feel bad for writing this to my man, I'ts been hard to do cuz i dnt want to hurt ur emotions, but my heart.... U r a good man, and i'm blessed! But i want to be happier....i'm asking for the little things...the small small things that r easy to ignore.

 So i beg of u and ask u not to be hurt that i write this to u. I tried to choose my words carefully, but pls forgive me if i said something to bruise ur ego or "insulting". Thank you fro reading this. God bless u.

Have a blessed day.