8 weeks MORE!!!! YAAAY!

IT's been a looooooooooooooong time coming.

I've been lazy and procrastinated long enough.

Everytime i set my mind to updating this blog, i find a million and one reasons to shy away.

It's been a long journey with mixed emotions ...but i find it will all be worth it in the ner 8 weeks.

I' posted sometime back about pain i was feeling...and yes i mentioned that someday i'd talk about it.

It's prolly time i did too.

You know the saying "Pain endures for a night ,...but joy comes in the morning?"...well that's me...that's my story.

I praise God for who He is and how He keeps His promises to His children. 

It's March 16th today, 2 and a half days to my wedding anniversary...it will be our 2ND!!!

2 years together..how time flies. It feels like only yesterday when we got married. 

Two weeks into our marriage i had a word from God assuring me that i'll hold my own baby in my arms...of course i never doubted my ability to bear children especially as i had never done anything to jeopardise those chances. He even went ahead to give me an idea which month to expect my baby. All this while the hubby and i weren't exactly planning to start a family soon...you know, we wanted to give ourselves a year to enjoy married-life and put a few things together..so yes i was on a method.

Six months into the method, however, i decided to let it go as i was most not enjoying the side effects that came with it. October 2011 to be precise...In December 2011, we were excited to discover we were expecting. At this point in my life the devil was attacking my family strongly. Work demands and stresses from home were mounting. Sadly we lost our precious little gem. Its was heart-breaking...we were nearly devastated but God's rhema kept me going.

We tried hard after that, God knows we did...each month passed unepected. that May 30th 2012, it happened again, but the joy was once again short-lived. This time, we waited 3 months to try again....and GOD hasn't stopped being faithful since!

We're 38 weeks preggers with our little prodigy! This lil one kicks like Messi...man he had come play some football! It's been months of nausea, vomiting, heart burns, carpal tunnel syndrome, sleepless nights ...and oh, my ICE pica...i totally crave ice! Combined with work...it gets really stressful. I just got back to work after a 3 weeks break but i can't wait for the next 2 months to go by quickly so i kiss those 5 toes and 5 fingers on each limb. I really can't wait to wake up in the middle of the night to feed my bundle of joy and make funny faces together.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...
 you make me happy ..when i am down..."

The Greatest Gift

As i lay down on the couch, i really did not know what to expect.
I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.
"Let it beat God..let it beat", i prayed
Then he started, the screen far from my view.
Can i see i asked?
"Sure" he said, "when i'm done looking for it"
I held my breath and waited then he said it...
"It's a boy!"
I turned my head to see the screen and there it was.
The smile came naturally, as did the sigh that came out almost loudly
I couldn't have asked for a greater gift this Christmas and birthday.
The joy of having a child grow inside me and depend on me for its life
Ten fingers...all intact, a four-chambered heart, valves beating in tandem
The the movements...it almost seemed like a dance.
I pinched myself and took a deep breath.
It's all real. It's happening to me!
My miracle the greatest gift i could ask for.
A year ago on Christmas day, i lost a precious little seed...
a year on, i have more than a seed and the kick i just felt is more than enough proof.
Thank you Jesus for this beautiful gift!!!
Forever grateful!

- Maamedee!!! (11/12/12)

...What to WeaR!!!

Hmmm....Two of my good friends are getting married...yeeei...in SIX days! That's exciting news right? Of course it is...well at least till you're in my shoes!


My friends have been childhood sweethearts (since sunday school times mehn), so this wedding is a big deal and means a lot to them. I'm part of their day...handling protocol among other things. I feel really honored but also feel pressured to look my very best!! Pressured not by my friends, (no they would never do that), but by my own self. It's like my small wedding gift to them (corny i know ;-). )


Turquoise green and white...that's the colour theme! I drove round all day today looking for a dress, a fascinator, anything worth wearing! It didnt help that it's a holiday today (yesterday was Eid Ul something..not sure which one...given that i worked a 12 hour shift, have NO idea what went down- all i heard and saw from the windows of my ward as i did rounds where people on motor bikes tooting horns loudly as is done if Ghana won a football match or if some political party won elections!)...drove round in vain, eventually came home with foodstuff rather than a dress and accessories!

Thinking of this dress in turquoise-green(love the fring/ruffle work going on there) plus gold/glassbead accessories! and yellow high-heeled pumps! Whachya think?  Too traffic-lightISH?

Is Jesus on FaceBook??

So a friend sent me mail just the other day. I thought it'd make interesting reading so i decided to share. We'll just call my friend "Oga" for today. Here goes:

Oga:

Hi there,
I trust all is well with you.

I need your take on this very delicate matter (forgive my hype). I got an invitation to address a group of young Christians and the decided I should attempt an answer to these questions, "Would Jesus have been on facebook in his day and Is Jesus on facebook today? I would appreciate your perspectives on this matter as I organize my presentation.

All shades of opinions are very welcome.

Meanwhile, I've attached 3 audio downloads of Raavi Zacharias, an Christian apologetic whose ministry I've come to admire greatly.

Looking forward to your enlightened opinions.

Here's MY response:

Hi Oga,

Thanks for the audios. My thoughts on the questions u pose:

Would Jesus have been on facebook in His day?:

For starters, thank God I wasn't born 2012 years ago. I can only imagine life without lights, the world wide web, mobile phones, digital cameras, no fast-track ways of getting things done...primitive medicine, no antibiotics,no water-closets(did u ever wonder if Jesus ever used the "brodua?" lol after number 2?)...no i'd rather not imagine life without these.

On to the topic: I believe God in his omniscience chose the perfection of time within which to send the Messiah..and went on to reveal this ahead of time through prophesy.Even in those medieval times, where people had not seen the "light" and in retrospect can be said to be gullible, save their holding on strongly to traditions/doctrines(hasn't changed much has it) without understanding their basis, even in those times, there was opposition to news of the Messiah's birth and indeed His life and works. I can only imagine the kind of opposition news of the Messiah's coming would have been met with in this day of technological advancement. So thank God there was no facebook...it made it easier for people to sit at Jesus' feet and listen as He taught them...If there WAS a facebok though...i can only imagine how it'd be...of course the tax collectors wld have a group and send daily reminders to all to pay up..and oh the Sanhindrin may have been Administrators of the entire setup, forbiding the unclean access. Surely the lepers will never know what i'd mean o poke a friend, to like a comment. Indeed only the elite of the time may have had access to facebook.

Jesus, however, did say "I came to seek and to save the lost - Luke 19:10 He was fond of associating with the "ungodly", the unclean, the prostitutes, the lepers, even the greedy tax collectors. He came to SEEK first and then to save. If the only way Jesus may have sought the lost was to pursue them on facebook, i trust He would have stopped at nothing, for only by that would the first step to their salvation be made. If he only went to the dark alleys, the secluded places reserved for the lepers, the prostitues, the unclean, then He wouldnt have reached them would he?

Is Jesus on Facebok today?:

It's amazing how in my reading of the Gosple,(correct me if I'm wrong pls) I've not come across a single encounter of Jesus with the "lost" where He started by saying "YOU ARE GOING TO HELL, REPENT!". He always knew the people he SAUGHT. He met them at their points of weakness, His approach was mostly opposite what they expected. His encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well - she left rejoicing, wanting all to know this man she had met; the prostitute about to be stoned -she must have felt true love for the first time; the 10 lepers - they were unworthy of being approached; Zacheus ..oh what awe he must have feel to hear a man that should be calling him CHEAT, SWINDLER, SCUMBUG..saying to him, "tonite i dine with you". I see Jesus on facebook today everytime I see ordinary christians offer an encouraging word to that unbeliever, trying to get the message of the gospel across by meeting REAL NEEDS, not just adding people to groups that only preach CONDEMNATION and repentance. The lost have no lever around which to revolve that message, especially where they have not had a personal encounter with the one preaching it. The ones Jesus touched and transformed most are the ones he had a personal encounter with. I see Jesus on facebook today when I put a smile on a hurting aquaintance's face. When my words bring love rather than hatred, calm where there is tension, peace where there is anxiety. Jesus is certainly on Facebook today, not merely through pictures of His image we share or conscience-freeing quotes we send to friends and tell them to pass it (or if we don't how it means we HATE Jesus- Jesus never blackmailed anyone, even today He allows us to make our choices- i don't get why ppl send such posts). Jesus is on facebok when we can engage in conversations that are far from boring, but interesting enough to make people want to know us better and the God we serve. The question we all need to ask urselves I believe is ...Is Jesus on facebook when I am on facebook? 2 Timothy 2:20-22...May we all be vessels of honuor...so help me God!

maame

So now i pose my question to you my reader, Is Jesus on facebok today?

The Thin Rope!

I am exceptionally depressed today. When I most especially want to be happy, there seems to be so much going wrong. I've sat on tenterhooks for months unend, not knowing what the next moment brings. Indeed, it feels  I'm holding onto a thin rope, struggling to stay, not to lose grip, to stay focused when everyone else seems to be floating ,indeed to be flying.

Many sleepless nights, nights rife with tossing and turning, provoked by the thoughts running through my subconsciousness...I am afraid, I am hoping, wishing and praying. I want my dreams to come trueso bad. Insanity seems to beckon, almost within arms-reach, I can feel it's icy ambience- the claws of intant death. I refuse it with all my strength. Strength that seems to ebb each passing day. The rope seems to snap loose, a few cords ..a few cords at a time. Then it grows thinner...the burden not lighter yet. Heavier it grows by the minute.

I've had my fair share of good and bad.  It seems the bad abounds on.On and on to deepen my sorrow. "Wake up and smell the cofee!"- it reverberates in my ears, resonates with my marrow, to make me understand, and feel the meaning of "life is not fair".

I am surrounded by joy. laughter fills the air, but only I know pain, pain and more pain. Have i been robbed by my own actions? Have I a debt so huge to settle? Is this my sentence? This pain I feel?



A letter from a Girlfriend...to her husband-to-be

A letter from my heart...to my husband-to-be

I've been struggling debating whether or not to write this 'cuz i really dnt know how u'll take it. Lately, u seem to misinterpret my good intentions.

Its been nearly 2 years 7 months. Sometimes i'm happy, other times i'm upset. God's been good to us, seen us through the good and the bad. I try hard to be the best girlfriend. I cant help but feel that sometimes u think i'm petty, selfish. U tell me i have my rules...and they only apply to u.

We grew up differently i know, but we get into relationships to help each other become betta ppl...i have my faults..plently i know. Sometimes u make me feel horrible for trying to make u a beta man.

Last nite, as Deacon  "praised" us, i wondered to myself..."I know he tells me he loves me,...but does he really?" I dont really doubt that u do, but sometimes u do make me wonder. (and pls dnt make me feel guilty or regret writing this now cuz ...ii have tears streaming down as i write it, not that i want to...its uncomfortable to breathe). It's been on my heart a while and I can't let it keep staying there ,cuz it burdens me..(crying is just a way to relieve my stress).

We've both improved a bit since we've been dating. Sometimes, however, i look back to when you told amd asked me "I want you to be my best friend foreva, will u?", that 25th April 2008." I made one little request of you..."please lose the "pot belly"- and u promised to go jogging and do whatever...but then u asked what i'd do if it didnt go and i replied "i can't leave just bcuz it doesn't go".

Honestly,  I just feel "betrayed " in a way bcuz its almost like u dont care, you couldnt be bothered that it's important to me. 2 yrs 7 months, not too long i know, but i've been waiting for u to make an effort.

I thought u did try when u bought the bike...but its like a white elephant...You dont jog or show me ur making an effort as u promised me....and though i may not show it outwardly, ..that makes me hurt.



Everyone wants to be happy with the person they marry. Woman have different things that make them happy, and man probably same. i won't know wat u want if u decide to keep it to urself, but i try to tell u everything on my mind, so we can work out my happiness...i dnt know about u. U've neva complained of my physical appearance (and i dnt know whether or not u have concerns) but i prefer to tell u the things i'd like u to work on so they dnt burden my heart. I get sick (literally) when i keep things inside for long. And to know you'r not trying...it makes me sad.

Thank you for working hard to take care of me. Yes, i really appreciate u taking care of me,but there r things in life that are as important to me as our comfort. I want to see MY man physically and be be happy, be attracted to him (pls dont take this wrongly, throughout this note, i've tried really really hard to choose my words carefully so i dnt hurt or upset u,its the last thing i want).

 I feel you dnt care how i feel sometimes when u KEEP not trying or make excuses about being tired from work...same excuse for not making the effort to keep the room tidy and organised as u go along the day.

Please dont make me feel bad for writing this to my man, I'ts been hard to do cuz i dnt want to hurt ur emotions, but my heart.... U r a good man, and i'm blessed! But i want to be happier....i'm asking for the little things...the small small things that r easy to ignore.

 So i beg of u and ask u not to be hurt that i write this to u. I tried to choose my words carefully, but pls forgive me if i said something to bruise ur ego or "insulting". Thank you fro reading this. God bless u.

Have a blessed day.

ANTI-CLIMAX!!!

So i was super excited about going on leave like 5days ago...last monday to be precise. I was really looking forward to my 18 working-days leave and then some(after four long months of non-stop 7days a week job) and i was looking forward even more to our 1 year wedding anniversary on March 19th. It seemed everything was going to plan until that faithful morning....Yes the morning of my last Emergency duty shift before leave started.

 Its about 5:10 am,Wednesday Feb 29th, and hubby gets a call. His kid sister is on the line...she's frantic about their dad not being well. He tries to calm her and picks up his car keys, informing me he's heading home to see his dad. I try to go back to sleep thinking..."i hope she's not exaggerating..it's a bit early for that", but i'm also thinking..."I hope He is well".

Approximately 5:15 am, my phone's ringing. Hubby "Babe, can u go with me, my dad is said to be unresponsive". I bolt out of bed immediately, thankful i went to bed in a maxi dress, my hair looks hideous as i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. For a moment, i'm confused, don't know where my slippers are at, where my stethoscope's at...I grab my white coat...pass my hand through my hair and dash downstairs.

The journey to get his dad was a formula 1 race experience for me...we eventually caught up with the car that had conveyed his dad to a private clinic ...as usual, there was no doctor on the premises. I did the best i could to stabilise my father-in-law, who at this point is deeply unconscious and having a mild seizure. Then it was another formula 1 experience back to Korlebu Teaching Hospital, amidst pouring rain..and traffic.We almost did a full spin once and nearly crashed into a wall.

Six-thirty am: We arrive at the emergency unit, where my shift will be starting at 8am that morning. The doctors on duty see him and we get a CT scan done. My father in law has a stroke which was secondary to a heart condition, atrial fibrillation to be exact. He had thrown a clot from the heart into the brainstem...the prognosis did not look good. It was really devastating watching my husband almost break down! We did our very best, but my father-in-law passed away 8:30pm, Thursday March 1st, 2012, leaving us all broken.

(Papa getting his drink on)

Its been a difficult 3 days since. Its been sad seeing my husband who looks so well composed and almost unshakeable break down every so often and cry when he talks about how his dad, despite his faults would chat with he and his 3 siblings, how he thought him some aspects of his trade as a dentist, how he insited on a simple and short funeral if and when he passed away, how he was proud that all his kids had graduated from university and were making him proud, how he's say "i don't want any tributes at my funeral...you guys are my tributes!"

These moments sadden me and make me want to cry too. I try to be strong for my hubby, so he'd be strong for his mum and siblings. These moments, however, make me realise what i'v been missing in my own home. While i wouldnt want to wash my dirty linen in public, it hurts me to know that my family unit is not half as happy as the Glover family was while Papa as they called him was alive; that my dad hardly talks and laugh with us,that my parents seem to be distant towards each other...that the few times we've sat together as a family over dinner, it felt really odd, almost uncomfortable...i could go on an on...but i won't. I am resolved to make my marriage work; to have a happy bubbly family no matter what it takes..to help my husband be the best husband and dad he can ever be...to put smiles on the faces of the children God blesses us with..and above all...to lead my family to Christ...and to stay in him.

For now, i take delights in these words: "Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

marriage!

funny how much time and money goes into planning the big day
how many times you fantacise about your new life together
then the day comes and it passes
and you live out reality
one day at a time.

for the married couple out there?
are there times when u've caught yourself wondering if you made the right decision?
marrying the person you chose?
ever wondered how different things may be had they not been the ones?

today i write to celebrate my husband...
and i have no regrets saying...
"yes, i have wondered more than once ...
if you trully were the one...
but each time...
i've had to come around and say
you've made my life so much better
yes i may nag you out of your bad habits
and complain endlessly when you don't do things my way...
but through it all...i remember
Luther Vandross' "I'd rather"...
and so I toast to you...our memories past and future to come!

"Love you hun".